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Flight Of The Living Dead: A lame attempt at a film based on a cool sounding title. It was disappointing in so many ways, I can’t begin to name them.
Day Of The Dead (2008): I generally hate attempts at making zombies anything but mindless. And, speaking of that:
Land Of The Dead: Yeah, I love Romero’s work generally. But this film just didn’t live up to his legacy. Re-introducing the “everybody’s already infected” concept (which was shot down in DOTD2004 where it was only transmitted by bite) makes the who struggle ultimately futile. The characters were all two dimensional and unsympathetic. And, again, trying to give zombies intelligence is just bad. They’re scary *because* they’re mindless: you can’t reason with them, you can’t scare them, and you can’t trick them.
TRAILER PARK OF TERROR : this wasnt even a zombie movie.it was a bad attempt at one. it was all supernatural related due to the deal with the devil the hot chick made.
ZOMBIE LAKE : the only thing zombie about this was the title. dead nazi soldiers at the bottom of a lake. one keeps coming around this little girls house only she turns out to be his kid. SINCE WHEN DO ZOMBIES HAVE MEMORIES OF TIMES GONE BY.
BLACK SHEEP : genetically alterd flesh eating sheep. i think that says it all ! call me crazy but …….
Day of the dead remake: The zombies are like xenomorphs.. Running om walls and snatching people. It was a horrid experiment to see. ((Get the pun))
[REC]: Why REC if its demons? Well for onces they keep screaming all the time. My ears hurt from seeing that movie. Its still a movie that is fun to see. But not as a zombie-movie.
House of the Dead: You know what? I feel like crying when ever someone says this film is good. (I’m a moderator in a horror film forum) The mear existence of this film makes me have panic attacks.
The Zombie Diaries: I’ve heard this movie described in glowing terms, but it’s just a bunch of Brits running around in the forest at night, with a few zombies and some crazy guys scattered about. Pass.
House of the Dead: I bought this for 99 cents thinking that if it’s as bad as its reputation, it should at least be so bad it’s funny. No, it’s just bad.
Day of the Dead (2008): A guy becomes a tame zombie because he didn’t eat meat in life? Give me a friggin’ break.
House of the Dead: The Funny Version – Not even poking fun at this movie was able to make this watchable. Stupid jokes piled upon stupid jokes piled upon poorly acted or directed scenes does not make a movie better – it surprisingly makes a bad movie worse.
Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! – This is an example of what happens when the wrong person ends up with a video camera in their hands. How Debbie Rochon ended up in this thing blows my mind because not even her all too brief appearance saves this near-racist, poorly acted and ridiculously directed exercise in futility.
Zombie Nation – Uwe Boll ALMOST couldn’t have directed a worse zombie movie. There is no redeeming quality about this movie – the production values are lacking and the acting is atorcious.
Mulberry St.: They were RAT PEOPLE, not EVEN a zombie movie!
The Mad: Man eating hamburger patties, need I say more.
American Zombie: Just plain boring.
The Dead Hate The Living – more of the fails stick out than the good parts (which are few and far between). this is the kind of movie you need to get blackout drunk to sit through. the fake movie being filmed in the movie uses props that are used as props in their fake movie, but also used as real props in the real movie that you are actually watching. the zombies aren’t romero zombies or anything even close to what i like to think of as zombies. they were like rob zombies on a no dollar budget (and while budget should not be an issue, it hurts this movie). on the mail order zombie scale, this would be one self inflicted headshot to stop the pain of watching it out of 5.
Dawn of the Dead 2004 – running zombies. bad. no but seriously, the first 15 minutes were amazing, the rest of the movie was awful. a few good creative ideas slapped on a subpar attempt at a remake. i guess my problems with the movie would be out the window if it had been made under another name… so i like to think of it as “mall of the dead 2003 where the zombies run and i hate all the characters”. spoiler alert: i wanted them all to die in the end.
Zombi 5 Killing birds- So if you go far back in episodes of the midnight podcast, to episodes which may not even still exist online… episode 30 or 40 something i wrote in about this movie, and for about 30 more episodes. this is pretty much the biggest piece of garbage ever. if you have not seen it, don’t. there is like one zombie in the entire god damn movie. the birds in the film are stock fottage or bad props. it’s really horrible. it should not have been lumped into the zombi series.
return of the living dead 5 & mortuary. these are really really awful and should have made the list but c’est la vie.
1. zombiez- I hated this flick because of the lack of good zombies and the story being nothing more then something that a 10 year old could have written, I really hated this film and to this date it remains the worst zombie movie I own. Truth is getting right down to the nitty gritty of it, the camera work was bad, the fact they try to make the damn movie look more like a rap video then a horror or zombie film, was way off and made the movie feel jokey at times. So by far Zombiez with a “z” is a shit pile that I tell everyone to stay away from.
2. Return of the living dead: Rave to the grave- Man, this came out of nowhere as a shit film, I had watch the 4th one right before it and thought they had done a good job and hoped that they could do an even better job with the 5th. Boy was I ever wrong. The acting is bad, the story is bad… let me get off about the story here, the fact these retarded teens or what ever find themselves with some kind of tank and they want to use it for drugs, sell said drug and then have a fucking rave… I know people who do lots of drugs, they are dumb, but to be honest I don’t think they are that dumb, cleaners maybe, but some sort of military test tube with a very well melted guy inside. No I don’t see anyone say, dude lets get high off this. Also the fact that here you have a movie series the each film can stand alone, then you come to this one and you have to, just have to watch the 4th one to even understand why some of the stuff that is going on it going on. I wish the franchise would have stopped when they got to the 3rd one, but they didn’t and like I said the 4th one gave me hope they could pull it off. Yet the 5th one fell so sort of anything other then something I would have to say you need to be drunk or high to enjoy, it just plain shit. I would go so far as to say, getting high and watching this movie might constitute as a bad trip.
Sigh… No what would be a good bad number 3…
3. Zombies Anunimus- this movie tricked me. I knew what the zombie could do in this movie before watching it, I didn’t care, the youtube trailer made it seem like something new and different. And for the most part it was. The start of the movie drew me in and I loved it, I felt for the character and really wanted to see things work out for them. So talking about the start of the movie isn’t really something I should get into in a bad review, but anyone wanting to watch this movie I say watch just the start of it, turn it off and don’t worry about a thing, your not missing much after that. I can’t help but think that the people making this movie wanted to make something so different and yet so cliche that what they did was film shit. Or maybe they wanted to just put zombies in every type of film granra they enjoy. This one has elements of the good old drug movies where they pull the weak and helpless person down into a never ending spiral of drugs and then… suddenly and I still after rewinding it and playing it back can’t find out what happened next. I know the zombies turned on each other suddenly, I know there was a zombie hunter, that really didn’t make much seance, but ok, and then gunfights. long and pointlessly dragged out gunfights. I like gunfights, but these are the most pointless ones, when all you have to do is shot the zombies in the head they waste so much ammo on just shooting up zombies. Now don’t get me wrong, I get the point of the movie and yes its a strong point to be made. Its been made every other way even using x-men as a way to make this point, so why not zombies, huh? I could have worked. But they wanted to try and make zombie epic out of something they really should have just kept with their start. It was a fresh and new movie, a nice big streaming pile of fresh and new movie shit. The type that feels good coming out but then the smell hits you and you vomit all over yourself.
Don’t get me wrong in the end its only up to you to decide whether or not you will like the movie, this is just my opinions and I am going to stick with them. I wish I had a good movie lined up to go watch now, because I have never given this many shitty reviews all at once.
1. Resident Evil – For anyone, and I mean anyone, who actually played the original Resident Evil video games you would realize that this movie was utter crap.
2. Living a Zombie Dream – This was an Indie film about a kid who was murdered and eventually became a zombie hunting down his killers. Budget: $23….This movie sucks
3. Zombie Night – Crappy effects on top of crappy story. Please only watch this if you’re drunk and you have a long piece of rope tied into a quick slip knot to end it half way through.
Vampires v. Zombies – I was surprised when I was able to sell this to a store chain for $0.11. I was expecting to be charged a disposal fee. Not only does this movie not have any zombies or vampires, it has no story or talent involved.
Ozone – The guy that made “Dead Next Door”, which was quite shitty but with a bit of fannish charm, made this stinker. Quite shitty with a bit of extra shitty.
Zombie Night – Not surprised that someone else already mentioned this one. Rave 2 the Grave is a masterpiece compared to this wooden and intolerably cliched piece of unfilm. This is the kind of project where you would insist on having your name removed from the credits.
‘Otto; Or Up with Dead People’ – A German film which was marketed as being an art house and experimental take on the zombie film ended up being an blend of still image montages, heavy handed voice overs and metaphors from a pretentious would-be goth woman and soft core gay zombie pornography set to bland lifeless music. In the end it’s basically what people who don’t/ won’t watch art house movies think art house movies are like… gay cowboys eating pudding.
‘Dead and Deader’ – A Scifi Channel ‘un’Original. Ripped 1 liners from other films are read with blank stares from a lifeless cast (and I haven’t even gotten to the zombies.) Dean Cain should have followed in George Reeve’s footsteps and I’m not talking about being Superman.
‘Pot Zombies’ – Troma Entertainment released this gem where you guessed it… the infection is thanks to tainted weed. The climax is a fat man running nude with his penis painted green… not even Toxie with his ever present mop and bucket can clean up this mess of a film. LLoyd is known for screwing film maker who release through Troma but, in this case, he should have kept it in his pants.
1) Zombiez. It is also the worst film I own. It looks bad for shot on video. Most of the film is one girl walking, and not in that cool Lord of the Rings way. There are no real zombies. It doesn’t say anthing.
2) Day of the Dead 2: Contagium. It isn’t shot on video. The special effects are not terrible. It is totally an issue of poor acting. It poisons any good in this film.
3) Severed. The plot lacks coherence. It jumps between a lab and a forest with neither location being very interesting.
#1. Dawn of the dead 2. Running zombies is against the laws of zombiedom.
#2. Resident evil series. A good game does not a good zombie movie make.
#3. Day of the dead. It was just boring.
Lets encourage the powers that be to get back to the basics.
#1 “Hard Rock Zombies” There is a reason not many people have heard of this, it sucks! I’m usually a stickler for historical accuracy in movies and this just might be one of the worst. An 80′s hard-rock band runs from angry parents in a small town. They then find an old mansion to take refuge in. While they start to rehearse in the old mansion they are killed by a bunch of freaks lead by Adolph Hitler. The band then rises from the dead and kills Hitler with the power of Metal. Was Hitler supposed to be a zombie in this film? Zombies would have decayed by then.
#2 “Red Neck Zombies” No, No, No! I thought I might enjoy watching Rednecks getting terrorized and turn into zombies but this is not the case, pretty much all they did was drink and ogle women.
#3 “Children of the Living Dead” Bad acting, bad special effects and the ending does not make a lick of sense. Wicked bad movie!
1. Quarantine: Great reaction from the authorities. Rarely do you see such planning and execution of a zombie outbreak. They claimed it was a rabies outbreak but that’s what they refered to it as in WWZ by Max Brooks also. So it kinda makes you think they perhaps have experience with that sort of thing. Jennifer Carpenter is kinda annoying in it but I think she has the reaction of anyone in that circumstance.
2. Dawn of the Dead (2004): This movie resparked my love for Zombies. What is really cool besides the movie is the DVD extra “We interupt this program” which has two Babylon 5 stars: the late Richard Biggs is a news anchor and the voice of Bruce Boxleitner as the president. This little extra is great as it shows the outbreak through the use of a newscast.
3. Night of the Living Dead (1990): This Tom Savini remake is great cause the main character, Barbara, goes from being a helpless mute in the first NotLD to a zombie killing hottie. If she hadn’t had been saved by those local hicks she probably could have been a female version of Rick from the Walking dead comicbook series.
1. House of the Dead. Bad all the way around, but the worst was the inserted clips from the video game.
2. Children of the Living Dead. Again, bad all the way around. Just another attempt by John Russo to cash in on Night of the Living Dead. If only it had turned out more like Return of the Living Dead, another movie that started out as a Russo cash in. I guess the secret is to just take the titles that he comes up with, and throw away everything else. I met Russo years ago at the Motor City Comic Con, and he seems like a nice guy, but like Uwe Boll, he just doesn’t have what it takes to make a good movie.
3. Undead. I loved the effects, and the main character kicked butt, but the rest was too silly for me. Not as bad as some zombie movies I’ve seen, but because it had so much potential, it’s a bigger disappointment.
JUST CURIOUS BUT WHEN DID THIS GO FROM 3 WORST MOVIES TO YOUR FAVORITE?
Oh, dang, my bad. It is your least favorite. Oh, man, so many. Zombie Strippers, Dead next Door, Deadlands, the Stink of flesh, Days of Darkness, Zombie Night, etc, etc. But how do you ever have a least favorite, they all have one thing that makes them good: Zombies.
1. Zombie Strippers: Enough Said. For some unknown reason guys in this world where no strip clubs are allowed love undead women and the way they dance.
2. Zombie Night: Some of the worst camera work ever done. Acting is god awful and the storyline makes absolutely no sense what so ever. One minute the main characters are driving in a car and then in a two minute span the world goes from normal to completely overrun by zombies. Only good part was what the survivors all did to the guy who betrayed them.
3. Deadlands: The Rising: Okay. You have to give props to these guys for trying but in the end it is a bad movie. It was literally a movie of just a bunch of friends who got together and said “Lets make a zombie movie.”
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