The Greatest Story Ever Told: Zombie Movie or Not?
Where do we draw the line on what is and what is not a zombie movie? We just can’t decide on our own, so every Monday we’ll post a new movie to be debated by, you, our readers and ask the question: Zombie Movie Or Not? Every Sunday we’ll post our findings and possibly strike that movie off our Zombie Movie List. The week should give you enough time to rent the movie if need be or you desire.
What every reader must keep in mind is that there are two basic types of zombie that every zombie movie based off of – the Voodoo Zombie and the Romero Zombie. The Voodoo Zombie, while not always raised by Voodoo necessarily, is basically a person, either undead or entranced, that is controlled by a person or entity for the purpose of completing tasks, often killing. Romero Zombies are basically mindless, flesh-eating undead whose bite will turn victims into zombies. Now, not all movies adhere to all of these rules, but if the basics are there, you got a zombie movie.
This weeks debate is over The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) Starring Max Von Sydow.
IS: Jesus died and was resurrected from the dead. Resurrection = Zombie! Then there’s the whole “Eat of the body and drink of his blood” thing…
IS NOT: Just because someone died and came back to life doesn’t mean they are a zombie.
Now it’s up to you, reader. What do you think? The Greatest Story Ever Told: Zombie Movie Or Not?
Comments(21)
Praise zombie jesus!
zombie jesus FTW! yes
ZOMBIE!
Yup Zombie Jesus!
No. Came back in spirit only. Did not come back as a flesh eater or as an animate entity you could see or touch.
perhaps maybe. but no. consider perhaps the resurrection was just that, an isolated zombie outbreak.But No. the movie is not.
This is the reason I love this website.
Zombie movie, definitely. It’s got reanimation and it’s got cannibalism (the last supper). For whosoever eateth thy brains shall have eternal life…
Full on Zombie Jesus. Technically, gay zombie jesus since he was all up in the desert with all those men.
omg I sorta knew this was coming.
I cannot in say that this film is a zombie movie; it’s not.
But if we’re talking about the symbolic ramification of the Jesus ressurrection issue, I’m just gonna cite Eddie Izzard:
And then I did the last supper, and I gave them some wine and I said, drink this wine – it is my blood.” “You said what?” “I said, drink this wine it is my blood. I was trying to make it a ceremony.” “But that’s vampirism! Vampiric thing, drink my blood. You’ve got Pagan things right there on day one of the new religion!” “Oh, sorry.” “Why didn’t you say, drink this wine it’s a Merlot?” “Oh, yeah.” “Did you say anything else?” “What do you mean?” “Well, after the wine thing did you say anything else that might have screwed things up… for ever and ever?” “No.” “Nothing at all?” “No.” “Nothing about bread?” “Yes.” “What did you say?” “Well, I said, ‘eat this bread, it is my… favourite!’ because it was hot so they had all those crinkly bits in it, and I loved it and… All right, I said it was my body, OK?” “That’s… that’s cannibalism! You have got vampirism and cannibalism right at the beginning… Oh, Gee! And you died on Easter, the biggest pagan ceremony in the history of ever! (losing it a bit) You’re going to celebrate the year of your death in a different year, each year! Depending on where the moon is, for God’s sake! If they don’t work out that’s pagan I’ll just eat my hat.” “Dad, don’t worry. No one’s going to work it out for 2000 years – until a transvestite points it out in New York!” “Oh, all right.” “Well, what would you have done?” “I would have done cheese and wine. Cheese and wine goes together better. Eat this cheese, it is my body…” “But it’s Judea, dad. Cheese melts.” “All right: eat this cheese it is my central nervous system, all right? All right, all right, listen to this: eat these chicken drumsticks, they are my legs. Eat these carrots, they are my arms. Eat this tomato it is my head. And eat these oysters, they are my kneecaps.” “If you do that, dad, your holy communion is going to have priests going round with lots of trays going, ‘Who ordered the body of Christ, then?’”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t8cpH6AbwQ ataround 5:20 begins the segment surrounding it.
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To summarize I like the “zombie Jesus” stuff that pokes fun at inconsistencies in religious dogma, but the Jesus resurrection is its own undead thing, just like Frankenstein. Lazarus may be closer to a zombie than Jesus, as he was raised by a partial divinity to do His biding. The most interesting “for zombie Jesus” component is that following this resurrection, the world is overrun by Christianity, which would make Jesus the source, the first zombie is you liken religion to the mindless and nonsensical condition of the zombie, which seeks to nourish itself but only destroys or converts living things to its way, and then the individual zombie decays as a result of this misguided wandering bloodlust.
So Jesus is a zombie, but this isn’t a zombie movie though they fit in theme.
edit: So Jesus is a zombie-maker, he’s straight up Voodoo witchdoctor
I don’t understand how you could count this as a zombie movie while some of the others are discounted. This is definitely not a zombie movie.
Kelly King, you’ve sold me, this is totally a fucking zombie movie!
YES!
I have to admit I busted up laughing when I first saw this the other day. Sadly, my vote is still NO.
jesus is like a deadite more than a zombie, and by that I mean he’ll swallow your soul. So even though I call him the easter zombie he’s more of a demon.
OMG (and by God i mean Romero and not Jesus)
Sweet Zombie Jebus.
yes
NOT
I vote yes cos it’s fun!
My 5yo son once figured out himself when someone else was talking to him about religion…. “so… jesus was the first zombie then?…” I LOVE him forever for thinking that at such a young age!
No way, not!
i vote no because even though jesus did come back and thats cool to think of him as a zombie and everything and we all know zombies kick ass he didnt EVER try and feed or attack or have ANY other zombie characteristics.
Jesus may not be a Day of the Dead zombie, but i think he was a zombie. But he was more of a Fido zombie.