4 Halloween Traditions that Need to STOP NOW
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday and I suspect that is the same story for many of our readers. For reasons that may be unexplainable, we’ve always been drawn to the dark and the macabre. But over the last few years I’ve started to notice that Halloween is slowly eroding away, which is why I came up with this list of 4 Halloween traditions that need to stop now.
- Stop calling it a “Harvest Party”: In my day, conservative religious types who didn’t like Halloween just stayed at home with the lights off on October 31st. Somewhere along the line they decided to start holding “harvest parties” that just happened to coincide on the same day. This is nothing new, in fact Christmas is based on a pagan holiday too. Changing the name doesn’t make it any different. Besides, we already have a harvest party – it’s called Thanksgiving.
- Stop putting those stupid inflatable pumpkins in your yard: Really these things are the pinnacle of laziness. Is carving a real pumpkin that difficult? Some of my favorite Halloween memories involve carving pumpkins with my family and I shudder to think in the future kids will look back on that time Dad dragged the extension cord out of the garage and plugged in the pumpkin. This also goes for inflatable silly ghosts, inflatable tombstones (really?), inflatable cauldrons, and inflatable Winnie the Pooh next to a cauldron.
- Stop with the slutty costumes: What is up with women’s costumes? Sexy witch, sexy pirate, sexy cowgirl, sexy french maid, and on and on… Do they all need to be “sexy”? Women can be scary too!
- Stop driving your kids from door to door: Honestly it would not kill them (or you) to get a little exercise. Even here in Michigan where it’s not unheard of to be snowing on Halloween it’s never THAT bad.
How about the rest of you? What things about Halloween have been bothering you?
Comments(9)
I personally can’t stand the idea of Halloween at the mall. People take their kids to go trick or treating at the mall in lieu of their neighborhood. I understand going to a more upscale neighborhood to get the big candy bars, but the mall? Is it really that bad outdoors? Is the night that scary that you can’t even dress up like a monster and trick or treat? It’s pathetic.
“Do they all need to be ‘sexy’?”
Yes. Yes they do.
One thing that has disappointed me about Halloween for the past few years…kids start trick-or-treating in broad daylight and stop before dusk. Come on, folks, it’s Halloween. Show a little backbone.
Oh man, do you people have issues with this stuff! Personally I’m worried sick that this nonsense is coming here too, more and more. (We already have the pan-handling tradition over here, but it’s traditionally at Easter when kids dress up as witches and go begging. And no, there are no teenagers dressed up as sexy witches… I wish!)
I may well become one of those people who put needles and razorblades in the candy I give away… Or I just don’t answer any calls at the door. Yeah, that sounds much better.
What kills me the most about halloween are these tough guy “gangstas” that walk around without any costume to speak of because they’re to “hard”. Like they’re too cool to dress up but still wanna roam the streets after all the half dressed tail.
And lets not forget all the douche bags that go to Santa Barbara for Halloween. You’re a complete piece of shit if you go to SB for the holiday.
That and when people give out gum and change instead of candy.
i wish kids would stop dressing like cartoon characters and disney shit and start being scary again
I was not aware of this new “harvest party” renaming tradition, which ironically acknowledges the “pagan” roots more than denies them. If this is a “Christian” trend, then these people truly do not know their own history. My understanding of Halloween’s history is that when the Celts were invaded by Catholic “missionaries”, their Harvest Festival was warped into Halloween as part of the “All Saints’ Day” initiative. Basically, Halloween was meant to curb the “pagan” Celtic tradition of a harvest party with masks that beckoned their deceased ancestors to bless their fields and summon their spirits to spend the night celebrating back among their people. So renaming it to a “harvest fest” makes it even more “pagan”.
|crazy tangent ahead|And on the topic of Christmas also being “pagan”, I’m among the weird people who notice that too many “holidays” are set during that season, all leading back to the mostly lost religion of Babylon, and modern separation of religion is due to careful Illuminati planning to create an illusion of different sides, when actually the chief tenements of the different religions all proceed from the ancient Babylonian beliefs)
And driving house to house is the definition of lame. If parents are worried about pedos and older bullies, just walk with your damn kid, so you can take note of the *astounding* increased police presence in your neighborhood on Halloween night!
holloween+thanksgiving+christmas i am so sick of seeing that stuff the stores the day after holloween starting to stock christmas decorations right after holloween is over and it seems to me that all 3 holidays just seem to jumble together holloween is its own individual holiday please and thank you
one word…RAISINS. Seriously? You’re going to give me raisins? I remember getting raisins in my trick or treat bag all the time as a kid. I was a kid…I don’t need help taking a crap, gimme some friggin chocolate, assbags.
THANK YOU!
The latter three bother me the most.
Yes, women CAN and SHOULD be scary, and it certainly adds more to the feel of any event when there are witches, ghouls, cenobites, zombies, etc. than it does to see FAIRIES, BAR WENCHES and DISCO QUEENS.
Now, if the fairies, wenches and disco queens are all bloody, then sure, fine.
A note on number 4- Kids without costumes.
Over the past few years, more and more kids have been coming to the door wearing regular street clothes, but still wanting candy. WTF is with that?! Would they approach my door on any given Tuesday and expect candy? No? Then what makes them think they’re getting any on Halloween?
No costume? RAISINS. ^ Or change. Or maybe I’ll just start tossing little ‘fortune-like’ notes into their bags that say, ‘NEXT year: Halloween Costume. Look into it.’