In Zombie 5: Killing Birds, a soldier returns home to find his wife in bed with another man. He kills his wife by slashing her throat which provokes the birds kept in cages in their Florida room to attack him, leaving him bloody. Years later, a group of bird researchers at Loyola University journey out to the Louisiana bayou to find an endangered species of bird. A journalist from the school paper is begrudgingly allowed to tag along. In the bayou they find the home of Dr. Fred Brown, a reclusive blind man with a past shrouded in mystery. The students venture off into the bayou and have a grand old time researching birds and playing the harmonica. After finding a dead body in a pick-up truck, they come upon a house where they hang out and write up their research. Steve, the leader of the group, has hallucinations of being chased by Dr Brown and other unseen evil forces. Gradually the evil forces of the house start to kill the students. One of them curiously catches fire after walking over a puddle of gasoline. Another gets killed when his necklace gets caught in a generators gears. Suddenly a few zombies start grabbing at them and ripping their necks off. Common doors may stop them, but roofs and walls are no match for the zombies’ strength as they rip right through to tear the heads off their prey. What can stop the evil that lurks in this house/the zombies/the killing birds?

What the fuck is up with this stupid movie? First off, the entire thing is called Zombie 5: Killing Birds. 1) It has nothing to do with Zombie, Zombi 3 or Zombie 4 (yet this is lack of a pattern is a pattern, so I move on) 2) There are two zombies at best, although I don’t remember seeing more than one on the screen at one time, so it might have been the same one on different days of shooting 3) There really aren’t any killing birds! The birds at the beginning only maim the guy and I suppose you are led to believe that they kill the guy in the end, but to name a whole movie after this is ridiculous!

Then I have to know, what the hell is killing the people in this movie? First it’s the stupidity of the victims themselves (i.e. setting themselves on fire, getting caught in the gears of a generator), then the zombie(s) come(s) and rip(s) their heads off, then the old guy gets attacked by birds AGAIN! They almost go down that This-house-is-just-evil road, but then the zombies come and blow that idea out of the water. This movie was all over the place!

The acting in Zombie 5: Killing Birds was goddamn horrible. It was like watching 3^rd graders read allowed in class. No feeling, no inflection, no sense of what the hell is going on at all.

The special effects in Zombie 5: Killing Birds was bottom fucking rung. It was gory as all hell, but the technique was severely lacking. It was painfully obvious exactly how each gag was done. There was no sense of misdirection or wonder about any of in. Robert Vaughn’s plucked-out eyes looked like wads of gum with a marble jammed into his eye-socket. Ridiculous!

The fact that Zombie 5: Killing Birds exists as a sequel to any of the other movies in the Zombie series is a joke. The fact that Zombie 5: Killing Birds exists as a stand-alone movie is another joke all together. This movie was so bad I had to watch it in 5 parts because it bored me to sleep. I can’t really say that it would go very well with the party crowd just because you’d have to fight to pay attention to all the dumb crap in the first place. Don’t get suckered by this potential drink coaster.

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