Meat Market is about a couple of security guards that work for a company that started a zombie outbreak. They work together to survive the zombie onslaught and help whoever they can along the way. They end up running into a group of three, laser-packing female vampires who want to help them destroy the zombies to protect their food source. they also run into a lucha libre named El Diablo Azul (the Blue Devil, gringos) with a few screws loose. With this rag-tag group they plan on ridding the city of zombies.

This movie was seemingly made with no budget whatsoever. From the hand held video camera shots, to the basement as military bunker or abandoned jail as rest of the set, the movie screams school project. There are some impressive scenes that seemed to have made use of college film class advantages, but those are readily out of the way in the first half-hour.

Meat Market has a strong beginning, detailing the first few weeks of the zombie outbreak. But, once they meet the vampire lesbians with the laser rifles (unmodified Star Wars Stormtrooper toy guns), it goes pretty far down hill. Once they do that, the reason for the undead comes to light: **SPOILER ALERT** Scientists working with nano-technology created little robots to eat dead flesh. Then the robots started eating all flesh and eventually collect to create consciousness in the dead body that makes the host target other humans to eat. It just seems dumb. Then they meet El Diablo Azul and the comedy is complete, only it doesn’t seem like it’s supposed to be funny and it really isn’t.

The acting is atrocious. Everyone in the movie sounds like they’re reading their lines off cue-cards. I actually had to re-form each character’s lines in my head with feeling to understand what was happening. It was really hard to pay attention to and figure out what was going on without a second viewing. Luckily there were no points of real drama throughout the movie.

The lesbian vampires are pretty ridiculous. The best I could say for them was that they had nice fangs. They’re dressed in these odd goth/bondage type shiny pleather shirt and pant combos that go “vip, vip, vip” when they walk. Sometimes, the “vip, vip, vip” sound is the only thing you can hear as they stalk through hallways and stairwells searching out zombies to fry with their Stormtrooper lasers. Their dialog presents them as these hot temptresses, but they were decidedly plain looking. They were seemingly cast for their willingness to take it all off and do fake straight and lesbian sex scenes.

The zombies look pretty gruesome, especially for the low budget. There were plenty of blood splattering, brain oozing and flesh biting effects that they focused in on rather intently. But it’s obvious that they used the same 5 or 6 zombies in the same make-up and costumes throughout the majority of the movie.

I gotta give the makers of Meat Market props because they obviously did it out of love for the genre, which is more than I can say for a lot of really bad zombie flicks that I see. But, I can’t say I’d recommend that anybody watch it. It was a tough watch. I’ll definitely be checking out the sequels, but I’ll be a little wary.

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