Raiders Of The Damned DVD Review
In Raiders Of The Damned, a chopper full of scientists goes down while trying to kill zombies by spreading poison, crop-duster-style. But, the zombies take the chopper down with their bows and arrows and a catapult. The zombies take the scientist hostage. Now, Dr. Lewis, played by Richard Grieco, needs to assemble a crack covert rescue team to get the scientists, humanity’s last hope, and bring them back from Zombieland. In an act of desperation, he gets an old soldier that had been locked up for life, because he was so bad-ass, named Capt. Dewey, a 6′ 6″ tall muscular meat-head named Flex that used to be 5′ 10″, 150 lbs. before he was subjected to the army’s experiments, a sword wielding woman named Razor and another soldier woman that has bad dreams about zombies. Their job is to rescue Dr. Wells from the zombie army which is led by zombie Colonel Crow and bring him back alive.
First off, the zombies talk. And not just talk, they reason, use weapons and fuck. They’re basically no different dead than alive, they just decay, want to eat people and be evil.
Everyone in this movie sucks as an actor. Richard Grieco plays some sort of mad scientist, but he plays him like he’s in a kid’s show. All the evil zombies speak in a really evil voice with that diabolical way of delivery that Power Rangers villains have. The rescue team act all bad-ass and cliche. This cast couldn’t act their way out of a wet paper bag if all they had to do was act like they were asleep!
The crack covert rescue team wears all black, then walks around with fucking lights on there heads! They have these space age glasses, that I swear I’ve seen in the toy store with a logo that said Spy Gear, that are green and have big bright lights on both sides. What’s the point of wearing black and skulking around in the dark if you’re going to give yourself away by wearing big bright lights on your head?
The Captain, when faced with a 10-story concrete/stone wall that they must traverse to get into Zombieland, turns to Flex and says “Can you take it down?” This is just a taste of the inane dialog that this movie has to offer.
The acting was atrocious, the dialog was ridiculous, the sound quality was poor at best, the camera work showed a severe lack of experience, the story was the worst kind of cliche crap you could imagine and the special effects were cartoon-ish. There is not one saving grace in this movie. I can’t think of one good thing about watching this movie. Do yourself a favor and avoid Raiders Of The Damned like the plague.
Comments(1)
I unfortunately have seen this movie and your review is dead on (pardon the pun). Someone could take a crackhead off the street and have him write a script that is more believable and better written than this crap. I think I lost IQ points watching it.