Things aren’t always as they seem. Originally when I posted about Dead Heist I linked to a less than kind review on Fangoria. I was called out by Adam on Neurotrash for making a snap judgement on a movie I hadn’t seen myself.

Busted. By not reviewing the movie myself I was doing our readers a disservice. So without further ado, here is our full review of Dead Heist.

A group of thugs led by Ski (Brandon Hardin) who are fed up with hustling on the streets decide to pull off a big bank heist worth millions. Hustler (E-40) provides them with the weapons for the job in exchange for a cut of the profits. In order to make sure everything goes smoothly, he sends Jackson (DJ Naylor) along to oversee things. Jackson has had his fair share of run-ins with the law and is one of the few memorable stars of the movie. Ski’s gang is rounded out by a bunch of forgettable characters and poor actors.

The gang arrives in town and Jackson begins to scope things out while everyone else hangs back at the motel. While strolling through the town he meets Hunter (Big Daddy Kane) in a gun store who urges Jackson to stay inside for the night, foreshadowing things to come. Meanwhile, the idiot crew decides they can’t possibly wait another day and decide to just go ahead and rob the bank now by just running in waving guns around. There’s a stand-off with police, and as it gets dark the zombies come out to feed - first on the cops and then (after working their way into the bank) on the robbers. Ski’s crew, Jackson, Hunter, and a female deputy must all work together to save themselves.

Dead Heist is no Oscar-winner by any means, but manages to do some things well. The camera and sound work is much better than anticipated for films of this level. The director (Bo Webb) does a reasonable job of getting interesting shots and following the action. The zombies looked realistic and there are a few really fun scenes where the screen is filled with zombies. It takes a while to get moving, but once it starts the action is decent (but could be gorier).

Unfortunately there are several things that prevent Dead Heist from being a fully enjoyable film. First, the language. I’m far from a prude but this movie tossed around the “N word” more often than it used poorly constructed gangsta metaphors about gambling, hustling, and pimping (and trust me there were a LOT). E-40 seems to just make up his own terminology, saying things like “Give me the 555-1212″ (instead of the simpler “give me the info”). I couldn’t help but groan at phrases like that - no one really talks that way. In fact it was at that moment my wife stopped paying attention and went off to do something that wasn’t a total waste of her time.

Speaking of a total waste of time, there are many scenes in Dead Heist that do nothing to move the story along or provide insight into the characters. Some, like the scene at the beginning of the movie, are so out of place I’m pretty the director started out making an entirely different movie. These should have been stripped out entirely to make time for more zombie killing.

The best zombie movies aren’t mere horror films - they tell us a story about the human condition. As such my spirits were lifted when the zombie action started and the thugs started dying off one by one. Could it be that underneath all this gangsta posturing Dead Heist has a moral story to tell? Crime doesn’t pay, something like that? Unfortunately no - Ski ends up not only surviving but also walking away with the money.

If you can overlook its flaws and sit through the grueling first half of the movie, the zombie attack finale is worth the wait. The zombies look great, the deaths are plentiful (though not gory enough for me), and the scenes with the elevator and never-ending escalator of the dead made me giggle with glee. I’m sure if the budget had been bigger we’d have seen more special effects, but director Webb manages to make the most out of limited resources.

Dead Heist isn’t a home run, but it doesn’t completely strike out either. It’s fun for a while but overstays its welcome quickly.

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