The Top Ten Sure-fire ways to Die in a Zombie Attack
The zombie apocalypse has begun. How do you ensure that you survive? (assuming surviving in a world infested by the undead is something you want to do…) There’s no easy way to survive, but lots of ways to die. Here are our top 10 ways to die in a zombie attack…
10. Friendly fire. With all those bullets whizzing around, it’s easy for one to miss. Well-meaning zombie hunters may mistake you for the undead. It may also be pleasantly convenient for someone with a desire to take you out to have an “accident”. Don’t take any chances - scrounge whatever body armor you can.
9. Injuries. Twisting an ankle or breaking a leg makes it difficult to run away from zombies. With hospitals being out of commission, even the most benign medical problems could become deadly liabilities. Be smart - keep yourself in shape and learn some first aid.
8. Accidents. Using a lawnmower as a zombie-slaying device may seem like a good idea at the time, but one mistake could be the end for you. If misused, any number of everyday items are dangerous enough to kill you.
7. Running out of supplies. While running out of gas may be embarrassing, in a zombie attack it could be dangerous. Running out of bullets in the middle of a firefight even more so. Run out of food and you’re screwed. Stock up when you can!
6. Blocking yourself in. Sure, boarding up the doors and windows keep the zombies out, but they also keep you in. What happens when they inevitably breach your defenses? Always have an escape route planned out in advance.
5. Being alone. There’s safety in numbers. Going off alone in an unsecured area is just asking for trouble. Remember: you are just a tasty sack of meat to hungry zombies. If you get into trouble there will be no one to back you up. Be safe and use the buddy system.
4. Being a hero. That one moment of bravely charging into battle may get you into the history books, but most likely you won’t be around to enjoy it. Unless your name happens to be Bruce Willis, take our advice and let someone else be the hero.
3. Zombified loved ones. Don’t forget for a moment that your loved one is no longer anything other than an undead creature with an insatiable hunger for flesh. They are zombies and there is no hope for them. Don’t try to help them. They will eat you soon as they get a chance.
2. Get bit. If a zombie bites you, you’re as good as dead. Soon you’ll die and turn into a zombie, unless your friends find out you’ve been bitten and kill you first. Pray that they do.
1. Other humans. Let’s face it, if you’ve managed to survive the initial zombie threat, your main threat isn’t the undead, it’s the people you’re with. As competition for power and resources gets intense, people will do whatever it takes to get what they need. Add in the threat of roving biker gangs and rogue armed forces and you’ve got plenty of reasons to watch your back.
